Savior (Blackwings MC - Devil Springs Book 3) Page 10

  “I was really angry after he died. For a lot of different reasons, but one of them was because I knew our issues would never be resolved. He, um, he left me, and he never gave me a reason. And for a little while after his death, I completely blocked out the part where he’d left and convinced myself that we did have a picture-perfect life. But, my mother and my therapist put a stop to that as soon as they realized what was going on. So, once I figured out that I was grieving for something that wasn’t real, I had to start over and grieve for what I’d actually lost.”

  She slowly got to her feet and nervously smoothed her hands over her hair. “You must think I’m crazy.”

  I shook my head and opened my arms for her. She didn’t hesitate to come to me. “I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’ve had a lot to deal with over the last few years.”

  “You can say that again.”

  “Let me ask you something. Earlier you said you were scared. Is it because you’re not sure if you’re ready or is it because you don’t know why he left?”

  “Because I don’t know why he left,” she confessed.

  “Thought so. Listen to what I’m about to say and hear it. I will not do that to you. I will tell you why I’m doing something before I do it. Communication is everything in a relationship.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay, what?” I asked and had to force myself to breathe.

  “Okay, we can do this you and me thing.”

  “Hell, yes, we can,” I said and kissed the shit out of her.

  When our lips parted, she placed her hand on my chest. “There’s just one thing. Um, I don’t want the kids to know we’re anything more than friends right now. Are you okay with that?”

  I covered her hand with mine and nodded. “Yes, I’ll go along with whatever you think is best, but what are you going to tell them about the baby?”

  She grimaced. “I haven’t figured that out yet. I‘ve been putting it off, but I don’t have much longer before I start showing.”

  My hand dropped to her stomach and I smiled. She was already showing, but I wasn’t about to point it out. “I can’t believe my baby’s in there,” I whispered in awe.

  She laughed, “A part of me can’t either. Even before everything happened, I didn’t think I’d have any more kids.”

  I was silent for a few long moments, trying to formulate my words. Finally, I asked, “How do you feel about having another one?”

  She didn’t hesitate to answer. “I’m not going to lie; at first, I wasn’t thrilled about it. But, I’ve always believed things happen for a reason, even the things that are hard to accept. I’ve had some time to come to terms with it, and I’m happy about it.” She laughed lightly. “I’ll be much happier once I start feeling better.”

  I leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Speaking of, you need to rest,” I said and lifted her into my arms.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Taking you to the couch. Or, would you rather me take you to your room?”

  “The couch is fine,” she said.

  19

  Avery

  Kellan carried me to the couch and helped me get settled. “I’m going to head out before your Mom gets back with the kids. Do you need anything else before I go?”

  “Would you grab my laptop for me? I need to get some work done while I can.” Between being in the hospital and being sick at home, I’d fallen behind on my work. Thankfully, most of my clients had been with me for a while and were very understanding.

  Kellan returned with my laptop and charger and kissed the top of my head. “I’ll call and check on you later, but you call me if you need anything. I don’t care what it is or what time it is.”

  “Thank you, Kellan. I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me.”

  He gently brushed his fingers against my cheek. “I care about you. I’d do anything for you,” he said and softly kissed my lips.

  I spent the next hour working on finalizing two book cover designs and answering multiple queries from my social media pages. When my children came through the front door, I was ready for a break.

  “Mommy!” Riley yelled. “Jenna lives on our street! Can I go over to her house and play? Pleeeease!”

  “Hold on just a minute. Who is Jenna?”

  My sassy little girl huffed and planted a hand on her hip. “My best friend,” she said as if she’d already told me this new bit of information.

  “Well, I’m happy you have a best friend that lives so close, but I will need to meet Jenna’s parents before you can go over to her house.”

  Riley stuck out her bottom lip and stomped her foot. “I’ll never get to play with her. You’re too sick to do anything!”

  She started to run to her room, but stopped when I yelled, “Freeze!” I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. “Riley, you do not talk to me like that. Go sit down for five minutes and then we’ll talk about this.”

  With a scrunched face, she crossed her arms over her chest and stuck out her bottom lip, but she managed to quietly walk to the love seat and sit. I turned my attention to my son. “And how was your day, Braxton?”

  My little man smiled broadly. “It was great, Mommy. I kissed Lucy on the lips and now we’re getting married.”

  “You did what?”

  “I kissed Lucy. We’re gonna get married and have a baby. Like you and Savie!”

  I gasped in horror and slapped my hand over my face. “I’m not…we’re not…”

  My mother reached out to take Braxton’s backpack from his shoulders. “You can tell Mommy the rest of your story in a little while. Go put on some play clothes and come to the kitchen for a snack.”

  She jerked her head in Riley’s direction and gave me a pointed look. “Riley, go change into some play clothes, too. We’ll talk after you’ve had your snack,” I said.

  Once both kids were upstairs, my mom said, “He doesn’t know anything. He’s just verbalizing his assumptions about you and Savior.”

  “He asked me today when I was going to tell the kids about the baby.”

  She sat down beside me and clasped her hands in her lap. “And what did you say?”

  “I said I didn’t know yet. Mom, I have no idea how to tell them I’m pregnant,” I confessed.

  Mom nodded knowingly. “Listen, Avery, you’re approaching it like they’re going to have adult reactions. They’re not going to automatically know you were diddling the hot guy and got knocked up.”

  I groaned. “Mom! Please don’t say it like that.”

  She laughed. “Excuse me. Would you have rather I said ‘fucking the hot guy’?”

  “Anyway,” I said and rolled my eyes. “You’re right; I was anticipating adult reactions from them. And, judging by Riley’s outburst just now, I think she needs an explanation as to why I’ve been so sick.”

  “I agree. Do you want me to stick around while you tell them or would you rather it just be the three of you?”

  I thought about it for a moment before answering. “Thanks for offering, but I think it would be better if it was just me and the kids. That way, they can talk to you about it if they need to without feeling like you are on my side.”

  “I am on your side, sweetie.”

  “I know, Mom. And I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done to help me over the last few years. I wouldn’t have gotten through this without you.”

  “Yes, you would have. You’re a strong woman, but I’m glad I was able to make a bad situation a little more bearable for you.”

  I cleared my throat and shifted uncomfortably. “I, um, I told Kellan about Ian today.” When her forehead wrinkled, I added, “About us being separated.”

  “What made you decide to do that?”

  “We were talking and he said something like, ‘I know I wouldn’t be standing here with you if he was still here.’ So, I told him there was a very good chance he would be because things weren’t what they seemed.”

  Mom nodded. “Are you glad you tol
d him?”

  “Yes, I am, surprisingly. Of all people, I think he deserved to know. He’s still carrying around a lot of guilt about the accident, and I felt like it was wrong to allow him to continue believing a misconception. He’s been so careful of my feelings, about everything, and I just wanted him to know the truth. It doesn’t change anything, but I don’t know, maybe that knowledge will help him, at least where I’m concerned.”

  Mom exhaled slowly. “Avery Grace, I love you, honey, but I don’t know how in the hell you get yourself into situations like this.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know either. It’s definitely not something I did on purpose.”

  “Well, I’ll go make the kids a snack and get them started on their homework before I start cooking dinner. Do you need anything right now?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m fine right now. I’m going to try to finish a few things for work.”

  I didn’t get any more work completed. Within minutes after my mother went into the kitchen, I was fast asleep on the couch.

  “Avery. Wake up, dear.”

  I reluctantly opened my eyes and blinked up at my mother hovering over me. “Sorry,” I croaked. “I guess I fell asleep. Is it time for dinner?”

  She smoothed her hand over my hair and shook her head. “No, honey. I’ve already fed the kids and gave Braxton a bath. They’re upstairs playing before bed. Do you want me to stay tonight?”

  “No,” I said and put my laptop on the coffee table. “I can get them in the bed.”

  “Are you sure? I really don’t mind staying,” she said worriedly.

  “I’m sure. I promise I’ll call if it’s too much.”

  “Okay,” she sighed. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  After she left, I took a few minutes to find the courage to go upstairs and face my children. Once I found it, I got to my feet and slowly climbed the stairs. By the time I reached the top, I was ready to fall to the floor, but I forced myself to make it down the hall to my room.

  “Riley! Braxton! Y’all come in here for a minute,” I called down the hall.

  I had just flopped down in the middle of the bed when they came running in excitedly. Both bounded onto the bed and dropped down with a bounce.

  “What do you want, Mommy?” Riley asked with wide eyes full of excitement.

  “I want to talk to you both about why I’ve been sick,” I said slowly and cleared my throat. “As it turns out, there are two things that are making me sick right now. One is my gallbladder that I have to have a doctor work on—”

  “What’s the other thing?” Riley interrupted.

  “Well, when the doctor was looking for what was making me sick, they found out that I’m going to have a baby,” I said carefully and braced for their reactions.

  Riley squealed excitedly. “Oooh, I’m going to be a big sister again!”

  Braxton was less enthusiastic. “Will I have to share my toys with it?”

  I laughed and ruffled his hair. “Only if you want to. And it’s a baby, not an ‘it’.”

  “You just called it an ‘it’,” Braxton pointed out.

  I sighed in exasperation. “You’re right, son. I did.”

  “Are we getting a little brother or a little sister?” Riley asked.

  “I don’t know yet.”

  “When will you know?”

  “Probably in a few weeks.”

  “Can I go play now?” Braxton asked. He didn’t seem to care one way or another about having another sibling as long as he didn’t have to share his beloved toys.

  “Not yet, son. We need to talk about something else. It is not okay to kiss little girls. You can be friends with them, and you can even call one your girlfriend; but, you’re only allowed to hug her if you ask her and she says it’s okay. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Mommy. But she asked me to kiss her,” he said.

  “Did she now?” He nodded his head several times. The little hussy. “Well, if she asks you to do that again, you politely tell her no.”

  “Okay. Can I go play now?”

  I sighed. “Yes, son. Go play.”

  He scampered off to his room and I turned my attention to my daughter. She was a clever child and already knew what I was going to say. “I’m sorry for being sassy. I just wanted to play with Jenna. I didn’t know a baby was why you can’t do anything with us anymore.”

  I pulled her in for a hug so she wouldn’t see the tears welling up in my eyes. “I’m sorry, honey.” I sniffled and took a few slow, deep breaths to get my emotions under control. “I know it’s a school night, but how about you and Braxton go pick out a movie and we’ll have a slumber party in here tonight?”

  “Can I pick the movie?”

  “Yes, but you can’t pick something you know your brother won’t like. So, no Barbie movies,” I told her. We had plenty of other movies that they both enjoyed. Personally, I was hoping she’d pick one of the ones I enjoyed, too.

  “Braxton!” she yelled as she ran down the hall. “We’re having a movie night in Mommy’s room!”

  Ten minutes later, we were all settled in my bed watching Ice Age. Even though I cherished the time spent with my kids, I couldn’t help but wish Kellan was there with us, too.

  20

  Savior

  After leaving Avery, I went straight to the clubhouse to talk to Copper. When I arrived, the clubhouse was surprisingly quiet. Layla and Leigh were in the common room hunched over a laptop but no one else was in sight.

  “Is Copper in his office?” I asked causing both of them to startle.

  “Shit, Savior,” Layla gasped. “You scared me.”

  “I’m sorry, Layla. I didn’t mean to,” I apologized and held my hands up.

  “It’s fine,” she said. “He should be in his office.”

  I knocked on the door and waited for the okay to enter. “Savior, what are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to talk to you about something if you have a few minutes.”

  “Have a seat,” he said and gestured to one of the chairs. “What’s going on?” he asked and leaned back in his chair to study me.

  “I spent the morning at the hospital with Avery. She’s been pretty sick during the majority of the pregnancy and now they’re saying she needs to have her gallbladder removed,” I explained.

  “Shit, man. Is the baby okay?”

  “The doctor says the baby’s fine. But I’m worried about her. When she called me this morning, it took me ten minutes to get to her. I wanted to know if I could work at the bar or something so I can be closer to her while she’s recovering from the surgery.”

  Copper nodded and rubbed his chin. “When is her surgery?”

  “She’ll find out tomorrow, but it will probably be some time this week.”

  “Let me know when it is. You can take a week off to be with her and don’t worry about working. Bronze can help out at the gym.”

  “Thanks, Prez, but I don’t know if she wants me there the whole time.”

  Copper smirked. “Don’t give her a choice.”

  I laughed. “Got it.”

  With that, I left the clubhouse and headed to the gym. I felt like shit for dumping all of my new responsibilities on Coal, and I wanted to make sure he knew that.

  When I arrived, I expected to find him in the office, but it was empty. After searching the entire place, I found Steve at the front desk. “Is Coal here?”

  “Yeah, he’s downstairs with Bronze and Batta.”

  My eyes widened in surprise, but I kept my thoughts to myself. What in the hell were they doing downstairs? Two minutes later, I had my answer.

  “Keep your fucking hands up, Coal!” Batta yelled as Bronze’s fist connected with the side of Coal’s head. “So that right there doesn’t fucking happen! You can’t block him if your hands aren’t up!”

  “What’re y’all doing down here?” I asked and leaned on the ropes beside Batta.

  He snorted. “Giving Coal some sparring lessons without a d
amn audience. Did you see those bitches upstairs? Even I felt violated by the eye-fucking that was going on.”

  I laughed. “I’m sure you did. How long you been down here?”

  Batta shrugged. “Twenty minutes or so. Why?”

  I grinned. “Because I want a turn.”

  Batta threw his head back and laughed. “Go grab some gear. And for fuck’s sake, make sure you have a good mouthguard. I’ll do a lot of shit, but I am never searching for part of a tongue again.”

  I held my hands up. “I don’t want to know.”

  When I returned with my gear, Coal was climbing out of the ring. “Fuck me. That’s him going easy?”

  Bronze laughed. “Yeah, and I’m out of practice.” He turned to me. “Come on, boy. Come get you some.”

  “That sounds like a line from a bad porno,” I said as I vaulted myself over the ropes into the ring.

  Bronze threw his hands in the air. “Damn it, Savior. You ruined my next line.”

  “Which was?”

  He grinned. “I’m about to pound that ass.”

  “Just stop,” I chuckled.

  “Yeah, yeah. All right, let’s see what you got.”

  We moved around the ring while sizing each other up. I’d paid attention when Bronze was fighting Dez. He was methodical and selective with the punches he threw. Funnily enough, so was I.

  “Will one of you nut up and throw a damn punch? This is the most boring match I’ve ever seen!” Batta shouted.

  I kept my eyes on Bronze and grinned around my mouth piece. He rolled his eyes giving me the perfect opportunity to strike. I landed a solid right hook to the side of his helmet. Initially, I was proud of myself but quickly realized my mistake when a pissed off Bronze came at me full force. I barely got any hits in because it was all I could do to deflect him.

  A bell sounded and Batta shouted, “Time!”

  I stepped back and fell against the ropes as I removed my helmet and gloves. Coal was suddenly in front of me squirting water into my mouth and over my head.

  “Holy shit, Savior, where’d you learn to fight like that?” Batta asked.